First impressions of Berlin (mostly bad)

Berlin is strange, man. I mean odd in so many ways I don't know what to think. Its a hip, happening major European capitol, its got everything they got anywhere else, food, arts, bands, and shit they don't: old ass places and old ass culture etc. people: its filled with attractive and interesting people, but its also primordial and stuck in the middle ages in some ways. the people here have a thing for the serious. they call it ernsthaft literally 'serious living'. they find it a virtue to look serious in public, no goofing around is seen in a positive light. they frown their way through life with an unwavering assurance that it is the proper way to comport oneself at all times. take the subway or walk down the street or go to work (I got a job in this quasi-godforsaken place) and I guarantee you'll see hundreds of unhappy-looking faces. now that doesn't mean they are unhappy, they just think its important to look unhappy ALL THE FUCKING TIME! I thought for sure that would translate to an efficiency far greater than laid-back old San Francisco but no, it really doesn't. they are in many ways less efficient, less focused, less accomplished for all of their degrees (the HR chick has a masters in Psychology that she got specifically for HR work!). their problem is they value following rules more than getting the thing the rule pertains to done. outcome is far less important than the strict adherance to the letter of each and every rule. you will see germans yelling at each other for breaking simple rules and it sounds ugly (but to be fair they got stuck with one ugly sounding language) but they are into fun too, as long as its taken seriously: warm weekend day? great, up early ride the bike to the destination, enjoy it vigorously, eat boxed lunch, return home, mission accomplished. none of this 'lets just see what happens' nonsense for these people. in fact I could not have chosen a country I am less suited to live in. I am serious about being silly. I think the greatest works of heart and mind come from improvisational thinking (my greatest works always came to me in what I call 'the space between thoughts') and that nothing is funnier and sometimes even wiser than an inspired non sequitor. so yeah, I'm collosal fucking misfit here. smoking: ok, I'll admit I smoke a cigarette every now and again when drinking, and more often if there's weed in there but this is a city of smokers. I was joking that the main sport here is competitive frowning and their main export is second hand smoke. you can smell cigarette smoke every minute of every day. people smoke until the instant they step inside and are putting a fresh butt in their mouths and readying their lighters before they start to exit. its revolting. and they are so defensive of their habits. in the states people at least know on some level their habit sucks and others have some right to disapprove but not here, boy. nosiree bob, infringe on a Berliners right to smoke and its war. dogshit: coats every sidewalk and those sidewalks are mostly cobblestone. nobody here picks up their dogs shit and it creates a veritable mine field when walking anywhere (where's your efficiancy and order now, Heinze?!?). the turks: in California we have the latinos here they have the turks. also, unpleasant looking on the streets but in a more surley way, like being a man rests on how pissed off you look. they opperate the 27.5 millions donor kabap (schwarma) joints that occupy every block of the city. there's 1.9 million of them in Berlin, lets say half are men (the women are subjugated in what appears to my untrained eye as 'muslim lite' and never look at you) and factoring in the percentage very cool ones I've met that makes about 500,000 assholes. I don't get in street fights in general but I've had a dozen or so opportunities this past month and its only a matter of time before somebody gets badly hurt. sorry I don't take well to scumbags mean-mugging me, its their country I know, but there's only so much I can take. the weather: ok, lets be fair, I arrived exactly when the weather goes south and it has been gray and dismal the whole time I've been here. the jury is out on this one until (if!) I see the spring.